Everyone in society has some sort of issue with their body and that is completely normal, if we didn't at one point or another want to improve ourselves we wouldn't be human. But it is also important that we love who we are!
I have had a struggle with this just like every other girl. When I was growing up I was quite a petite girl! I had always been fit and healthy and absolutely happy with my body! I have been a dancer my whole life and I still consider myself a very healthy active person. I was quite content being a rather small size and didn't really think anything of the fact that my body might change as I got older. But I was 15 and who really thinks about that! I was quite a popular girl at school and I had always made friends easily because I considered myself easy to get along with and to be honest I am.
As I started to move into my late teens a lot of things started changing, the most noticeable thing was that I was putting on weight. I wasn't doing anything differently and if anything I was more active than I ever had been before. But because this started happening to me I started to get very down on myself. I started hating going to school and I started losing friends and didn't really want to be around anyone! I went from being someone who had enough confidence to share around to someone ho didn't even want to come out of my room. Whilst this was happening I started having massive mood swings I could be fine and then all of a sudden I hated the world. My mother and I started to have MASSIVE fights and I didn't understand why I was always angry.
Luckily things started to change, I had some amazing friends who would force me to get out and they were amazing in pulling me out of my shell. And I started to appreciate my life for what it was. I wanted to go out and have fun with the people who cared about me. I didn't want to sit inside wanting to change everything about myself.
By the end of Year 12 I was happy with who I was. I had an amazing group of friends and I was about to go out and find my place in the world. Don't get me wrong I still had those horrible days when I didn't like the way I looked and I compared myself to everyone else but then there were other days that I felt amazing in my own skin. I started doing a lot of community theatre and really found a place where I was accepted for exactly who I was.
In 2012, a girl I had met through a show I was doing convinced me to go to Philadelphia with her to work at a summer camp. So before I left to go I decided to go and see my doctor just to check up on anything that I needed before I left. I had always had trouble with my time of month and with migraines and such so my doctor sent me to a specialist to have an ultrasound. After the ultra sound I found out the I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. When finding this out it started to make a lot of sense. I had started putting on weight quite fast, I had developed bad mood swings, I could go from being fine to having such bad cramps that I could be curled up in a ball on the floor, and my migraines had just gotten worse. It was a hard thing to find out! But it helped me understand why these things had been happening to me. And all it is now is looking after it, going in to get shots and having an implant put in to administer the hormones that I am lacking.
But going through this has really helped me to love exactly who I am. I am not going to starve myself to be the perfect shape. And I can look at someone and think "oh I wish I looked like that" but then I realise we are different people, I am my own person. I am the perfect image of me! And if people don't like who I am then those people are not the people I want in my life. I hear a lot of girls talking about losing weight to find a boyfriend but if a guy can not accept you the way you are then he is not the right one for you! Sure! it would be great to be a bit smaller but I am not going to kill myself to try and get there. The best I can do is eat healthy and keep fit.
If you ever have those times that your find yourself comparing yourself to someone else remember that you're are beautiful just the way you are! People are drawn to others that are confident in their own skin. And remember you cannot love another until you love yourself!
Kirrajadeee
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